dodging mirrors

Aug. 10, 2011 at 9:33pm with 181 notes

Reblogged from dearbaby

Dear Baby: A lesson in learning to be present.

(Photo:Everly is always reaching for Arlo’s hand)

I sat in the back of our van, holding a cold bottle of breastmilk I’d just pulled from the cooler to Arlo’s mouth while he screamed red faced at me. I apologized that it wasn’t warm and held my breath that he would take it anyway. Everly had…

I’ve been getting slapped in the face recently with needing to pay attention.
Like the night I was stirring brownie batter and leaned my braid into the bowl. Twice.

Or the day when I went to the grocery store, trekked up two wide flights of stairs with the bags and congratulated myself for not wimping out into the elevator but instead walking, only to remember at the top that I had parked right by the door on the…first level.

The morning when I conked my head on the window sill when I leaned over too far during a yoga pose because my mind was wandering away. Far away.

And each time, I yelled to myself ‘Alright! Okay! I got it. I got it. Pay more attention. I got it, I got it…” and each time when I wasn’t paying attention, I told myself “Alright! Okay. Okay. This time, I got it. I got it.” And each time, I paid a little more attention.

In true karmic timing, Melissa’s post of being present smacked me in the most loving way right over the head. Hard.

As I read, I was once again reminded to focus on the task at hand.

Be present.

Things shift and change, tug and push and squawk their way through.
It’s what we can do to try being present. And then, to be.

And when we forget, and braids dip into bowls of batter and feet travel too high too fast and heads come crashing down onto sills, we try again.

It’s a learning process, all the while.